NEW WORDS FOR 2007

Long time no post....But the spam goes on...

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!

1. BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2.SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3.ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard .

4.SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles.

6.PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8.SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9.STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10.SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11.XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12.IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site coul d not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17.OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18.WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Nigerian Spam

Its been a while, and truthfully, I got tired documenting the spam I get. It was just no big deal. But last week and tonight Dateline, on ABC, aired the 2nd part of their series "to catch a Con Man", and it was really a great expose on the Nigerian ID theft cartel.

Apparently, billions of dollars and goods are going to shills here in the states after being purchased with previously stolen credit cards. The goods are being drop shipped to U.S. addresses, often populated with duped lonely hearts, who collect the goods, and then spend their own money to send it to destinations around the world.

And when these lonely hearts get asked this, no one stops to say "Hey, this sounds bogus".

The hardest part is stopping the theft of the credit cards. Maybe with 25% interest, the card companies aren't worried. Maybe we need some laws to make them hold the bag. I have a feeling the fraud would stop overnight.

This is what I posted on the Chris Hansen Blog

Good Job Chris Hansen.

More from mom....Globalization

Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:

Princess Diana's death.





Question:

How come?

Answer:

An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American,

using Bill Gates's technology,

and you're probably reading this on your computer,

that use Taiwanese chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported by Indian lorry-drivers,

hijacked by Indonesians,

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization!

You know your from California if...

More from my mom....

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

Headlines From The Year 2029

Ok, i know, its been a while. Well, here's another one from my mom. What can I say, the spam has been pretty tame lately. I did find something I would like to put in here later, but when time permits.

Headlines From The Year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Once upon a time...

This came from a buddy a work....I love this, it's hilarious.

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," the boy said, "He works for the Republican National Committee and helped re-elect George Bush, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

George Bush | children | embarassment | embarassment

World's Easiest Quiz:

My mom sent me this one. these things crack me up, right up there with the old "Where's the beef" fax from a couple of years ago.

World's easiest quiz:

Passing requires only 4 correctanswers....a measly 40%.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific is named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Check your answers below! Scroll Down

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific is named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.


What do you mean you failed??????? Pass this on to
all of your "brilliant" friends.

Funny thing is, I failed them all....

TEN BEST THINGS...

TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."

3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk . . . .

1. Raise your head slowly and say, ". . . In Jesus name, Amen."

This one came in to the office today. Hilarious. I love the last one.

THE HUSBAND STORE

More from my mom.

Mom, you crack me up. These are funny...

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the floors.

There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, l ove kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead hunks, and help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. "There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please."

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Another one from my mom.

Another one from my mom, this time there is a set up...

Watch this until Sylvestor catches Tweety...(wait for it. It's worth it)... then scroll down.
This was an idiot test. How long did you watch?

0-2 seconds - there's hope for you
2-5 seconds - having a bad day?
5-10 seconds - are you maybe just a slow reader?
10-20 seconds - remedial classes are nothing to be ashamed of
20-30 seconds - it is recommended that you don't breed.
30 sec-1 min - Management material
1-2 min - The equivalent of the average house plant
2-5 min - Good afternoon Mr Bush
5 min-1 hr - Dead people score in this range
1hr plus - congratulations. You have a negative IQ. To find out what your prize is, watch bugs until he finishes his carrot...

Again, someone actually started this chian going somewhere along the line...

spam from my mom

My mom gets these. Sometimes their funny, usually their not. THis is supposed to be a new tax form. To think someone actually went to the trouble of making this, but then, I guess i'm taking the time to write about it. What's up with that?

todays not in the Spam Folder

I got this one in my regular mail box today. I'm surprised they want to splite it 25/75. I mean come on. I would want at least 40% to do this.


Dear Friend,

Greeting to you.

I wish to accost you with a request that would be of immense benefit to both of us. Being an executor of wills, it is possible that we may be tempted to make fortune out of our client's situations, when we cannot help it, or left with no better option. The issue I am presenting
to you is a case of my client who willed a fortune to his next-of-kin. It was most unfortunate that he and his next-of-kin died on the same day in the Sharja plane crash of Tuesday 10 February 2004. I am now faced with confusion of who to pass the fortune to.

According to the English law, the fortune is supposed to be bequeathed to the government. However, I don't belong to that school of thought which proposes that the fortune of unlucky people be given to the government.My purpose of contacting you is to seek your acting as the
beneficiary of the will, and lay claim the legacy of $12.4million,which this unfortunate client of mine bequeathed to his next-of-kin. For now, I alone know about his will,as my client has great confidence in me.

Everything will be left between you and I. The share would be 25% for you and 75% for me. I would want to take care of the needy and less privileged,as this is my primary objective. All I have to do is amend the will to make you the beneficiary to the $12.4million legacy.

Again, I feel that you may be apprehensive and consider this amount too big for you to defend. It does not matter, as there are documents to back it up. This is a legacy being passed on to a next-of-kin. As I am not very sure of getting your consent on the issue I prefer not to divulge my full identity so as not to risk being disbarred.

The English Bar considers it a breach of the oath of the English Bar. I need not emphasize to you that the sensitivity of this issue need not be toyed with by neglecting its confidentiality. I therefore appeal to you not discuss this request with anybody, even if you decline my request.Until I am sure of your consent and full cooperation, I would prefer that we maintain correspondence by email. At this point I want to assure you that your true consent, full cooperation and confidentiality are all that are required for us to take full advantage of his opportunity.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours truly

Benedith morgan Esq.
Just in case you want to e-mail them.
Benedith Morgan

Results from SPAM

I actually reported some spam to a hosting service and Ebay, and the site was torn down in a matter of hours. Very cool.

This was the e-mail train.

This site has been removed from our hosting services for violations of our
TOS (Terms of Service). Additionally, all sites associated with the email
address used to sign up for hosting have been removed. Thank you for
bringing this to our attention.

Support @ 100free
from:
> This e-mail cam from someon linking to your hosting service. they are
> trying to conduct fraud posing as an E-mail from E-bay. I suggest you
> handle this.
>
> I am CC'ing E-Bay for their information.
>
>
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> From: Greg Stewart
> Date: Jan 10, 2006 11:50 AM
> Subject: Re: Question From eBay Member
> To: "eBay Member: Jell"
>
> You really think this is funny? Your hosting account is in the sign-in
> link. I've already reported it to them as fraud.
>
> On 1/10/06, eBay Member: Jell wrote:
>>
>>
>> Your registered name is included to show this message originated from
>> eBay. Learn
>> more.
>> *Question about Item -- Respond Now* [image: eBay] eBay sent
>> this
>> message on behalf of an eBay member via My Messages. Responses sent
>> using
>> email will go to the eBay member directly and will include your email
>> address. Click the *Respond Now* button below to send your response via
>> My
>> Messages (your email address will not be included). Question
>> from eBay Member Item: (6436472319
>> ) This
>> message was sent while the listing was *active*. Jell is a *potential
>> buyer*.
>>
>> Hello ,
>>
>> Do you accept paypal?
>>
>>
>> Thank you
>> *Respond to this question in My Messages.* [image: Respond Now]
>>
>> *Item Details*
>>
>> Item number: 6436472319 End date: 29-Oct-05 18:56:12 BST View
>> item
>> description: htps://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
>> ViewItem&item=6436472319
&sspagename=ADME:B:AAQ:UK:1
>> Thank
>> you for using eBay
>> http://ebay.com
>> * /* [image: Marketplace Safety Tip] * Marketplace Safety
>> Tip
>> * *Always remember to complete your transactions on eBay - it's the
>> safer way to trade.*
>>
>> Is this message an offer to buy your item directly through email without
>> winning the item on eBay? If so, please help make the eBay marketplace
>> safer
>> by reporting it to us. These external transactions may be unsafe and are
>> against eBay policy. Learn more about trading safely
>> . Is
>> this email inappropriate? Does it breach eBay
>> policy?
>> Help protect the community by reporting
>> it.
>>
>> Learn how you can protect yourself from spoof (fake) emails at:
>> https://pages.ebay.co.uk/education/spooftutorial
>> This
>> eBay notice was sent to lukesho45@yahoo.com on behalf of another eBay
>> member through the eBay platform and in accordance with our Privacy
>> Policy.
>> If you would like to receive this email in text format, change your
>> notification
>> preferences
>> . See
>> our
>> Privacy Policy and User Agreement if you have questions about eBay's
>> communication policies.
>> Privacy Policy:
>> https://pages.ebay.co.uk/help/policies/privacy-policy.html
>> User Agreement:
>> https://pages.ebay.co.uk/help/policies/user-agreement.html
>> Copyright
>> � 2005 eBay, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
>> Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective
>> owners.
>> eBay and the eBay logo are registered trademarks or trademarks of eBay,
>> Inc.
>
>
>
>
> --
> Greg Stewart
> Editor - http://www.freemasoninformation.com
>
> --
> Greg Stewart
> Editor - http://www.freemasoninformation.com
>

I hate to do this but I'm trying ADSense on you. So it's more SPAM, not of the Can, but now as an ad on this site. I hate to do this to you all, but I need to test this product and see how it works. So, if you hate it, let me know, and if you don't care, then let me know. It is after all, about the SPAM, not of the can.

xoxo

My B-Day

This one caught my eye today. the "event" their describing happened on my Birthday....

mmenenita2004

More options 10:36 am (7 hours ago)

Dear Respected one,

My name is Madam Villaran. Nenita. A complete citizen of the Philippines, widow to the late former minister of finance in Philippine who died on 15th of May 2002.

My husband fell sick and he was flown to France for treatment but later died of ulcer and he has been buried.

I inherited a total sum of 12.3 million dollars from my late husband; this money which is concealed in a metallic trunk box is deposited with a security and finance company here in Philippine. Due to the instruction I laid down before I deposited the box, that I needed maximum security/safety of my consignment and no body nor government organization can trace the where about of the box until I am ready and prepare to claim it. for this reason the security company used their diplomatic means to send the box out of Philippines to Abidjan- Cote d'Ivoire where they have t heir undergr ound secrete vault.

This deposit was coded under a secret arrangement as a family treasure. This means that the ecurity company does not know the content of this trunk box that was sent from the Philippine to Abidjan-Cote d'Ivoire under a diplomatic coverage for safe keeping.

My main purpose of sending you this mail is because of the way I found you and perhaps trustworthy to give you this priority of shipping the box of money to any address that you think is very secure and save in your country with your percentage of which we shall chat on soon.

In fact, since the death of my husband, his brothers has been seriously chasing me around ith onstant treats, trying to suppress me so that they might have the documents of his landed properties and confiscate them. They have successfully collected all his properties, yet they never stopped there, they told me to surrender all bank account of my late husband, which I did, but I ne ver disclo se to them this deposit with the security company in Abidjan-Cote d'Ivoire, because this is where my future and destiny lies upon.

The family of my late husband never aware of the secret existence of this deposit which I made with the security company and they can never be aware of it.

Out of fear of my late husbands family, and when the situation becomes uncontrollable because of pressure on me from the Government of the Philippines, I decide to look for a trustworthy person who could assist me retrieve this box of money from the security company for onward lodgement
into his account for the purpose of future investment. Consider my situation as a widow and come to my rescue.

There is need for urgent action because I'm paying $50 dollars per day as a demurrage to the security company for safe keeping this consignment.

I give thanks immensely for your co-operation as I look forward to hear from you soon.Here is my private email address ( m_villaran2005@yahoo.com.ph )



All the best,
Madam Villaran. Nenita.

Gli affari migliori del Web? Solo su Lycos Shopping!

Nigeria calling

Geez, another one.

This one is from Nigeria. I wonder if they applied half the energy of writing this to trying to learn something or apply themselves to something productive. Surly there can't be anyone responding to these?

DEAR SIR/MADAM

Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform you that this letter is not
a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. This letter must come to
you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and
become great friends and business partners. My name is Mr. Mike okoro,
the present branch Manager of a bank here in nigeria. I write you this proposal
in good faith, believing that I can trust you with the information I am
about to reveal to you. Like I said, I have a transaction that will benefit
both of us, as your assistance is required as a foreigner.

I use to head the Accounts department union bank head office, but last December
I was asked to take position of a Manager of our branch in lagos who passed
on, so that was how I became the present Manager and discovered a fortune.
As I resumed duty, I discovered an account with total sum of $2,100,000
million that has not been operated on for the past 4 years. From my investigation,
I found out that this account belongs to one Late Mr. Morris Thompson an
American great industrialist and a resident of Alaska, who unfortunately
lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed
on January 31 2000, including his wife and only daughter. You shall read
more news about the crash on visiting this site which I got during my investigation;


The account is escrow call account, a secret type of account in my bank
and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,
the account has no other beneficiary. I have kept a close monitoring of
the account since then and nobody has come forward to ask about the money
as next of kin to the late Mr. Morris Thompson, meaning that no one is aware
of the account. I cannot directly take out this money without the help
of a foreigner and that is why I am contacting you for an assistance to
claim the funds and share it with me. As the Manager of my bank branch,
I have the power to influence the release of the funds to any foreigner
that comes up as the next of kin to the account, with the correct information
concerning the account, which I shall give you.

I am seeking your co-operation to present you as the next of kin to the
account, so that my bank head quarters will release the funds to you. There
is practically no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under
a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.

If you accept to work with me, I want you to state how you wish us to share
the funds in percentage, so that both parties will be satisfied. Contact
me as soon as you receive this message if you feel we can work together,
so we can go over the details. Thanking you in advance and may God bless
you. Please, treat with utmost confidentiality. I wait your urgent response.
My private e mails
Best Regards
Mike Okoro

Today's Spam

Today's SPAM, nothing to exciting, but I expect more soon...Probably later today.


Good day!

Upon special auditing panel set-up by the Boards of directors of my bank ABN-AMRO BANK LTD (Amsterdam, The Netherlands) to investigate all credit account operated by it costumers, that has been in operation for the last five (5) years. I discover a credit account with A/C N0: NL85ABNA6008341843 floating with a huge funds amounting to(7,467,000.00 Euros).

On further trace I came across the file and found out that the true owner of this funds is Mr. Andreas Schranner, a German who was a property magnate unfortunately lost his life, including his wife and their daughter in the plane crash (German Concorde Flight AF4590) which crashed on July 31st 2000 killing all 109 people on board.

For more information visit the web link below:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

I have been monitoring this account ever since I discovered this information and found out that nobody has ever came on behalf of the Late Mr. Andreas Schranner as is next of kin for this fund.
I am contacting you as a reliable partner to execute this transaction with me. Upon your acceptance, I will provide you with his account file information’s and documents of deposit of the account and a text of application you will submit to the bank and I will then instruct you on how to claim as the next of kin to the late Mr. Andreas Schranner, so that the funds could be transfer to your overseas A/C, without any question arising from the bank.

And for your information, the transfer payment to apply for as the next of kin should be Two Million Five Hundred Thousand And Fifty Five Euros (2.5,000,055.00 Euros). As soon as you confirm your interest and co-operation with me, I will give you guidelines on how you can transact with the bank for the approval of the funds to your A/C. For more details reply to my personal mailbox: ryanf-vandam@lycos.com

Regards
Ryan F. Van Dam
Auditor (Abn-Amro Bank)
Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

infoastrachemical01
<infoastrachemical01@babbalu.com>
More options 7:32 am (2 hours ago)
From:Astra Chemicals Ltd
From:Astra Chemicals Ltd
Building No. 13,
Dongsheng Industrial Park,
Xiaolan Town, Zhongshan, P R China

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Mr.Michael Prezbindowski.My company Astra
Chemicals was established in 2002.Astra Chemicals is
an innovative, reliable supplier and manufacturer of
high quality biochemicals, amino acids, pharmaceutical
intermediates,herb extracts, oleochemicals,
agrochemicals, dyes and pigments, industrial and
specialty chemicals, surfactants and cleaning
chemicals, for scientific and industrial
applications.Through our commitment to innovation,
cutting-edge technology, high quality products and
industry leading service excellence we are able to
deliver significant advantage to our global customers
and partners.

Astra Chemicals' extensive knowledge and understanding
of the China chemical and pharmaceutical industries is
convincing. This, coupled with our expertise in those
key areas of procurement, supply-chain, and logistics
to create a truly world-class team for quality
chemical and pharmaceutical products in China.

Astra Chemicals creates advantage in several ways:High
Quality Products Delivering excellent value, high
quality products to create superior added value for
our customers is one of the fundamentals of our
business model. Our products are manufactured and
supplied to consistently high standards including ISO
9000 and ISO 14000.

I write to solicit your assistance in working with me
as my payment agent who can help us establish a
medium of getting to my customers in Canada,
America,and Europe as well as making payments through
you to me.You will be paid 10% of every payment made
through you to me.Subject to your satisfaction you
will be given the opportunity to negotiate your mode
of which we will pay for your services as my
Representative/Payment Agent.
Please if you are interested forward to me your
phone/fax number and your full contact address.

Thank you as i await your further response.
Faithfully Yours,
Mr.Michael Prezbindowski


Tony Brown

Sir/Madam,

However strange or surprising this contact might seem to you as we have not
met personally or had any dealings with you in the past. I must apologize
for intruding into your private email address, but I humbly ask that you
take due consideration of its importance and immense benefit it will be to
you.

I am a legal consultant/broker based in South Africa. I am currently
representing some members of the Independent Committee of Eminent Persons
(ICEP), Switzerland. (ICEP) is charged with the responsibility of finding
bank accounts in Switzerland belonging to non-Swiss indigenes, which have
remained dormant since World War II. For more information check:
www.dormantaccounts.ch

A dormant account with the sum of Forty Five Million United States Dollars
($45M) as discovered by clients/close associates who are members of (ICEP).

The money included accumulated interest. They needed my assistance since the
transfer can be made easily with my supervision as an experienced broker. My
clients at (ICEP) have confided in me to look for a foreign partner that
will help in putting the funds into the banking system and also assist in
investing the funds into profitable business ventures for mutual benefits.

Since my clients at the (ICEP), Switzerland have mandated me to look for a
foreign partner and that is my aim for contacting you. Please do not despair
because I got your email address from a business advertising website on the
Internet before making my contact with you. I do not intend to fail my
client because I have been a very close associate and legal consultant to
them for the past 20 years.

Bear in mind that we also have well-established contacts at the Claims
Resolution Tribunal (CRT) responsible for handling processing of all claims
on accounts due to non-Swiss citizens. Whereas, uncomplicated claims will be
processed under a "fast track" procedure, which is the procedure, our claims
will be put on.

I have also made contacts with the Trust Company responsible for Dormant
Account Recovery (DAR) in the United Kingdom and also concluded final
arrangements with them to take over the funds by a new beneficiary legally.

As an experienced broker and working with top executive members of (ICEP)
who are also my close associates, I have all secret details and necessary
contacts for claim of the funds without any hitch.

We are willing to offer you as much as 20% of the entire funds and after the
transaction has been completed. There is no risk involved in this
transaction and all the process of the administrative claims will be legally
achieved to transfer the funds in your name as the new beneficiary.

In conclusion, if you are willing and ready to assist us claim the dormant
account smoothly, please indicate in your return reply mail to
or fax number +27-11-5076847 and I will furnish
you with more details on how the transaction will be completed including my
contact telephone number so that you can call me for questions and
clarifications where necessary. We also look forward to doing more deals
with you.

Warm regards,

Tony Brown.

brown smith



THE CAMELOT GROUP PLC,Uk National Lottery
The Marina Offices, St Peters Yacht Basin,
Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 1HX
England
Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/04
Batch: R3/A312-59

WINNING NOTIFICATION:

We happily announce to you the draw (#1037) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,
online Sweepstakes International Program held on Satuday.10th of December 2005.
Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56475600545 188 with
Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers: 07 . 14 . 29 . 37 . 41 45 . [04] Bonus
Ball, which subsequently won the Jackpot prize. You have therefore been
approved to claim a total sum of 854,000.00GBP(Eight hundred and fifty
four thousand pounds sterling only.) in cash credited to file
KTU/9023118308/03.

All participants for the online version were selected randomly from the
World Wide Web through a computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000
unions, associations, and corporate bodies that are listed online. This
promotion takes place weekly.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon.
In view of this, your 854,000.00GBP would be released to you by any of
our payment offices in Europe.

To file for your claim, please contact:
Mr. Hodge Phillip
Tel:+447023050205
Email: claimagent_1uklottery@yahoo.co.uk
Who will direct you on how to claim your winnings
That way your Winnings Certificate and all other relevant
documents/paperwork can be prepared for you.

You would be required to show an instrument of identification when cashing your cheque i.e. Drivers license or International passport.

For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information
confidential till your claims is processed and your money remitted to
you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.

This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and
unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned.

Kindly find and fill out the claim verification form accordinly.

CONFIRMATION FORM PERSONAL DATA

FULL NAMES: _________________________________
GENDER______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH:________________________________
NATIONALITY: ________________________________
COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE: ______________________________________________
MARITAL STATUS: ______________________________
HOME ADDRESS: ________________________________
OFFICE ADDRESS: _______________________________
TELEPHONE NUMBER:_________________________________________________
FAX NUMBER: ____________________________________
OCCUPATION: ____________________________________
POSITION HELD: ___________________________________
TICKET NUMBER: __________________________________
AMOUNT WON:______________________________________________
EMAIL ADDRESS:____________________________________

Good luck from me and members of staff of the U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY.
Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Julie Howald,
Online Co-ordinator for U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY Sweepstakes International
Program.

This Blog is dedicated to...

This Blog is dedicated to all that junk we get in our e-mail boxes and guestbooks.

The SPAM not of the Can.

I figure, if people are sending it to us, it must of been important enough to write in the first place, so it must be archived! At least a little bit.

Somewhere, there really is some evil dictators widow who really can't get access to the Nigerian money locked away in a Swiss bank account and, well, I just wanted to make a permanent record of them as I get them.

I think I'll put commentary in them too, just for the fun of it.

Enjoy.